Kindness Counts

By Aretha Graves

“Everything you touch, you Change,

Everything you change, changes you

In the end, the only Lasting truth is Change.

God is Change”

-The Parables of the Sower, by Octavia Butler

                  This poem is part of a universal truth about the human condition. No matter if it is a quote from the Mother of Black Science fiction, Ms. Octavia Butler, in a quote written nearly 50 years ago; the “Do Good Deeds” song sung by children’s morning program host Peggy Mitchell, or from the Golden Rule from the book of Matthew (7:12), from the many versions of the Holy Bible’s New Testament or Greek/ Aramaic Scriptures, or from the Confucian quote found in his Analects at 15:23, or Buddhist teachings  as he said “Treat not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful”, people are charged with the responsibility of improving the human condition by personal actions.  These rules for human behavior were in practice for at least 500 years before the time of Christ. Whether it is called common courtesy, home training, or human decency, we have been trained that our actions have consequences and that we should govern ourselves accordingly.

 As a beginning college student studying the field of Psychology, I remember the horrific story of infants given the basic needs of food, warmth, and clean diapers, but no attention or affection. These infants were given no cooing or cuddles, no smiles or hugs. Those babies all perished from lack of human kindness, although they had been provided with their “perceived” basic needs. On the other hand, there were stories of infants literally “raised by wolves” who survived for years by being a part of a “pack”, receiving affection and affirmation among animals. This writer does not believe that this human need for affection, affirmation, and interaction ever goes away. It is vital that people, especially in a collective community or culture, receive positive stimulation, affection and compassion so that they may, in turn, be tied to that community, and not only to draw off that wellspring of compassion, but to be a source of it for others. 

                   All communities have several vulnerable members, the elderly, the disabled, the widowed, the orphaned, the impoverished, and the imprisoned. The Bible as well as other holy books such as the Torah, the Quran, and Buddhist and Hindu writings speak of the same groups. Special care must be given to these community members that may met with circumstances that place them in “survival mode”, to only be concerned with the basic functions of life. It is the responsibility of the able to make sure the vulnerable do not lack in affection or affirmation to maintain the overall health of the community. Because, children eventually grow up, and imprisoned people are eventually released, rejoining society with either a sense that they are still a part and have a part to play in their community or a sense of alienation, forced to create an Alien Nation, devoid and deficient in human kindness and belonging.

The elderly and disabled also need special care. It is a horrendous thing to be forgotten and neglected by community for an infirmity or the natural process of aging. Not only is the elder deprived of affection and interaction, but the members of the community are also robbed of becoming their higher selves by providing these members with the attention, love, and support that they need. These vulnerable people can either shower blessings and thanksgiving upon their community, or curses from neglect, abandonment and separation. When God hears the cries of these vulnerable members, how will the community itself be affected?